


Promise? Promise.

by aishiterumo



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Break Up, Childhood Friends, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, Lots of Crying, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin, Minor Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:48:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28270428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishiterumo/pseuds/aishiterumo
Summary: Birds chirping and children laughing, here's how this story starts. In the midst of it are those two children, growing up together only to be seperated and to meet again later in life, when everything as changed... yet it's still the same.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6
Collections: things





	Promise? Promise.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nervecore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nervecore/gifts).



> Might not be my best Christmas gift but still hope you like it, mon chou♡ hehe

It was a bright summer day; birds were chirping, and children were playing in their respective garden, laughing loudly. It was no different from our character here. Running around his garden, giggling as he was chased by his friend, friend who just so happened to be his neighbour.

“ _Hey, Sung, slower!_ ” his friend yelled as he kept on chasing him. _Sung_ , as his friend called him, didn’t listen, going at the same pace as he ran in circles in his garden. It wasn’t hard to run faster than his friend. He never really made an effort to run quickly; _Sung_ wasn’t even sure he saw him run at his full speed even once. Well, they were six, he still had plenty of time to see him run.

“ _Jisung, Yongbok, come eat something_ ,” Jisung’s mom shouted from the kitchen’s window. They both stopped running in sync, almost falling on the grass as they caught their breath. It took them a few minutes to finally held hands and skip their way to the kitchen, sitting next to each other on the counter table, eating the little sandwiches Jisung’s mom had prepared for them.

“ _Yongbok, your mom called me. You’re staying for dinner tonight_ ,” his mom said. It made the two young boys yelp in happiness, already impatient to spend more time playing outside.

Jisung’s family had moved into this house a few months before Jisung’s birth. They wanted to welcome him in a big, familial, warm house. His older brother got a room of his own, which was also one of the reasons his parents had chosen that house. And that, added to the fact that mostly families were living in this neighbourhood, it felt like the perfect choice. And it was. Right on the left, a new family was also moving in. They already had a daughter, a few years younger than Jisung’s brother. And the mom was also pregnant, almost coming to full term, just like Jisung’s mom. The two families became friends naturally; it wasn’t that difficult when you almost always met at medical appointments, or when both dads were struggling to get all the groceries inside when the mom was barely able to walk correctly. The two oldest children also befriended each other, yet not as much as the parents expected them to. And then, the two moms got admitted to the E.R. on the same day. It felt like destiny had reunited them in this painful but blissful moment.

Jisung was the first one to be born, Yongbok took a bit more time. Fate played little tricks and gave them only a day of difference. It made the two family laugh so much. Fate probably played with them, as the two babies kept on playing with each other. They didn’t force them, actually. There was just this invisible link between them that made them search for each other in a room. As soon as they started to babble, they would talk to each other, in a way that only twins do. They acted as twins. It was funny to watch, until it became so much that one of them would cry if the other had to go.

They went to school at the same time and were always in the same class. ‘Inseparable’ would be the correct word to describe them. Teachers would always have trouble separating them, even nap time had to be done together—if not on the same bed, then right next to each other. They always asked the two families how they dealt with this; _how could they possibly manage two inseparable kids when they lived in two different houses?_ Well, the answer was simple. They didn’t. The two kids had found passages between the two gardens, that linked them and made it easy to go from one house to the other. Actually, they may have created those holes in the bushes. None of them could tell you exactly, as it was so long ago.

Primary school didn’t separate them. Middle school got them even closer—if that was even possible. However, high school tore them apart.

It all happened within a week, it felt premeditated.

Monday, Jisung was sitting in his garden with Yongbok, looking at him with stars in his eyes. His heart started beating faster, his stomach twisting inside and his palms getting all sweaty. He sniffled hard as he brushed his hands against his jeans, wondering how he could tell Yongbok what he wanted to say since forever.

“Bokkie,” he said in a way higher tone than he intended to.

“Yeah?” He didn’t look at him, he kept on staring at his phone screen.

Jisung lied down on the grass, one hand resting on his stomach as he tried to steady his breathing.

“Sung, wassup?” Finally, Yongbok set eyes on him.

When Jisung thought he couldn’t be more anxious, there he was, staring into the source of his anxiety, right in the eyes. “I think I—”

“Oh, wait! Be right back,” Yongbok shouted as he got up and ran inside of the house. He then got back with a piece of brownie, sitting back next to Jisung. “You were saying?”

Jisung blinked once, twice, his throat getting tighter as he tried to get words out of his mouth. “Let’s get married.” Yongbok started coughing, choking on his brownie. “When we’re 30!” He quickly added, beating himself mentally for what he had just blurted out. Even more when he kept going instead of saying he didn’t mean it.

“Oh, uh.” Yongbok coughed a bit harder. “If we’re both alone with random animals in our houses, yeah sure. Let’s get married.”

He leaned in, brushing his nose against Jisung’s as they singsong a “promise.” Yongbok then getting up again and going to the house to drink something, still choking on his brownie. Jisung stayed on the grass, slamming his hand against his face as he mumbled his words again, feeling so stupid.

Wednesday, Yongbok came to his room unexpected, a backpack on his shoulders. “We’re moving out,” he said with his head hanging low. The only thing Jisung was able to do, was drop his phone on the floor and ask him to repeat.

By the end of the week, the house next to Jisung’s was empty. And so was Jisung’s heart.

Was it a way to punish him for feeling that way? Jisung entered high school alone, convinced his parents were punishing him for what he felt towards Yongbok.

After half a year, he finally stopped beating himself up. Circumstances had been different, Jisung and Yongbok would have stayed friends. However, Jisung never got to know his new address, and the boy never answered his texts. He lost hope pretty quickly; Yongbok wasn’t his friend anymore. If at first, he thought the boy hated him too—for feeling that way—he soon enough stopped caring about it.

Yongbok was a pleasant memory, that shaped Jisung into the man he now was.

Had Yongbok been with him through high school, Jisung would have never met Seungmin. They were in the same class two years in a row, seatmates in more than one class and Seungmin always tried to talk to Jisung. Of course, the very first time, Jisung told him off—he didn’t want to make friends, if it meant being left alone in the end. The other never gave up, sometimes even bringing him some snacks—“You looked tired yesterday” was the most common excuses. Well, it all went faster between them when Jisung suddenly pushed Seungmin against the wall after school, yelling at him for answers; “Why are you nice to me? You don’t know me!” or something along those lines, to which Seungmin was brutally honest, saying Jisung was _the prettiest boy of the whole school_ and that he _liked him a lot_. It caught Jisung off-guard and he ran away. Seungmin wasn’t awkward about it, the following days. It made Jisung think. Overthink at some point. That pushed him into getting to know his seatmate, and after a few months, he fell for him.

Seungmin was Jisung’s first boyfriend. If he thought his parents wouldn’t be supportive, he was proven wrong as soon as he started the sentence “I have a” as his parents quickly ended it with “a boyfriend?” in a hopeful and joyful tone. Jisung cried hard, that night. He wished Yongbok was there to hug him through his tears.

When Jisung graduated high school, he thought it would be the happiest day of his life… until Seungmin asked to meet up. They broke up. Jisung was going to another city, to study, while Seungmin was staying in their hometown. “It won’t work,” Seungmin said, “I can’t do long distance.” And Jisung simply swallowed his tears and nodded his head, his body walking him home. He was empty inside, once again.

Going to another city, alone, going to university and being on his own, Jisung thought it wouldn’t be so bad. He focused on himself, and somehow his high school fling was long gone in the past despite it being so fresh. Maybe it was the new environment, maybe it was the new beginning, probably the parties he had gone to—five in two weeks, because he didn’t know how to say ‘no’—or perhaps, if he dared acknowledging it, it was that foreign boy he spotted on campus that smiled and waved at him as if he was the brightest and prettiest boy in the universe.

Jisung met that foreigner once or twice at a party, yet never talked to him. It was always shy smiles and waving at each other, exchanging looks and staring contests. Until one day he got offered a drink, at the nth party of the week. “Who?” He simply said, the drink in his hand as he looked around. And then he spotted him, with a bright smile on his face that showed dimples on both sides; “Me. Hi, I’m Bang Chan. What’s your name?”

Chan was openly flirting with him, and Jisung didn’t know how to act or flirt back. Should he even be flirting back? Why would he flirt back? It wasn’t like he was attracted to Chan, right? Oh, how wrong he was to think that way. After a few weeks, he got to meet the older boy’s friends; Changbin and Minho. And well, Minho was flirty. Maybe even flirtier than Chan was. And when Jisung walked up to them one random day, only to spot Chan and Minho flirting with each other, he ran away, throat tight and heart clenching. Were they dating?

It was Changbin who reassured him; it was all a game to them, and Chan was definitely interested in someone else. “Who?” Jisung naively asked. “Don’t know, a boy he offered a drink to, at a party, a few months ago. Do you know him?” Changbin answered with a smirk. Jisung barely had time to blush, that Chan appeared behind him, whining that Changbin had spilled his biggest secret. “Oh, come on! I could’ve told him about the time you r—” Changbin started, only to be cut off by Minho’s hand on his mouth—that he licked to get rid of it. Jisung never laughed that hard in his life—or maybe he did, a long time ago.

Dating Chan was easy. It was comfortable and warm. By the end of his first year, Jisung moved out so that him and Chan could share an apartment. Dating as a young adult was very different from dating as a high school teenager. There was so much more freedom and responsibilities at the same time.

Jisung would be the first one to say that his couple was idealistic. Sure, there were some small fights every now and then, but after three years who was able to say they never fought?

Jisung was 24-year-old when it happened. It didn’t click right away, that this was happening. Even if, once again, it all happened at the same time as if it was premeditated.

Thursday, Jisung woke up to an empty bed, a post-it notes on the fridge that read ‘ **Text me when u wake up. We need to talk** ’. Did it give Jisung so much stress he fell on his knees unable to breath? Absolutely. With shaky hands, he texted his boyfriend; ‘ _am awake what’s wrong_ ’. His phone rang almost immediately.

“Sung,” it didn’t sound as joyful as it should’ve been.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung tried to get up from the floor but his legs wouldn’t move an inch. Maybe it was best if he stayed there, then.

“Something happened.”

“Something… like what?” He didn’t like his boyfriend’s tone. It sounded wrong. Everything was wrong.

“Remember Jeongin?”

“The freshman you tutored last year?” His throat tightened, as he imagined every possible scenario in his head.

“Yeah, him.” He took a pause, that felt way too long to be natural. “Well, we’ve been texting a lot since… then. And—”

“Please, just tell me.” Jisung couldn’t do it anymore, or he’d be going crazy by the end of this phone call. “Did you cheat on me?” He shouted, ready to break into tears without hearing the answer.

“What? No! I’d never, Sung!” It soothed his heart, but not enough for him to stop crying. “Yet, I—”

“Christopher please!” He never used his English name, except when he was at breaking point. Maybe that was enough for Chan to stop beating around the bush.

“I think I like him.” And Jisung’s barely soothed heart was bleeding again. His phone fell on the floor, his world collapsed with him.

When Chan got home that day, he found Jisung huddled up in a corner of their kitchen, staring at a wall—or was it the sink? Not important.

“Sung, hey.” He kneeled before him, extending his arm to touch his knee, yet Jisung simply moved back, deeper into the wall. “Are you ok?” What a fool question to ask.

It wasn’t that Chan didn’t love him anymore. He just had room enough for two. But was Jisung ready to share the one he loved? No. He was not. He knew without even trying that it wouldn’t work for him. So, they broke up. “Friends?” Chan asked, one hand waiting for Jisung’s. “Friends.” He agreed with a shaky voice. And well, it was fortunate that they stayed friends, because none of them had enough money to move out.

Tuesday, Jisung was barely functioning when he decided to go take a walk on campus. He wasn’t really paying attention at his surroundings, which he should have, even more when he heard a familiar voice from behind him. Deep, a bit raspy on some letters, Jisung would have sworn he knew that person. Until he heard that person’s name. “Felix, watch out!”

It didn’t click right away. But it lingered in his head, that it sounded way too familiar for it to be a coincidence.

He never saw that _Felix_ again, if he could say he had seen him even once, but it messed with his head. Hopeless thoughts and wishes, that made him lose sleep for weeks. But his hopelessness got rewarded, that one fine day, only for him to fall even harder.

Felix was meeting up with Changbin and Minho at a café on campus. He got there with Chan, the two of them barely talking on the way. They sat at the same table, next to each other, Jisung barely talking and staring at his hands. “Oh! Hey, Lix!” Changbin exclaimed all of a sudden, waving to someone at the far end of the café. Jisung looked up, only to have his heart crushed once again.

“Lix, how you doing?” Changbin told the stranger.

“Good, and you? What are you doing here?” Jisung wanted to slap himself in the face.

“Good, good. I’m with my friends. Guys, that’s Felix. Felix, that’s Minho,” Changbin pointed at him, then he pointed towards Chan and him, “And here’s Chan and Jisung.”

He could’ve sworn _Felix_ ’s face fell for a few seconds upon seeing him, but he quickly smiled and bowed. “Nice to meet you.” Jisung wanted to run away.

He tried to ignore the conversation Changbin was having with him, but one topic caught his attention when it shouldn’t have.

“How’s it going with Hyunjin?” Changbin asked, a knowing look on his face.

“Oh, well, it’s going perfectly. I mean, Hyunjin’s the sweetest, as always.” Jisung could’ve sworn _Felix_ was looking at him.

“He better be. Remind him that if he ever hurts you,” Changbin pulled his sleeve up to his shoulder, softly tapping on his muscle as a threat. _Felix_ and Changbin laughed. They were about to talk again when someone called _Felix_ , a tall man appearing behind him, face instantly disappearing into the other’s neck. Jisung could only guess that was Hyunjin.

It would’ve been easy to forget about it all and believe it was only a fever dream. But no. Changbin thought it was the best idea to add him to their friend circle. Now, Jisung had to look at him every day and wonder if he was the only one feeling that way.

Why was he going by the name _Felix_? Why was he suddenly reappearing in his life? Why wasn’t he remembering him? Was there something wrong with Jisung? Didn’t he make the same impact in Yongbok’s life than the boy did to his? It was too much question going in his head, that made him walk in circles in the middle of his room at two in the morning.

Jisung was glad that his old friend was happy. That would have destroyed him, if Yongbok grew up unhappy. But from what he overheard of their conversation, he graduated high school 1st of his class, went to university where he met Hyunjin, who was _the love of his life_ , and followed him to this university to pursue his degree. There was one question that lingered in Jisung’s mind. He never dared asking, especially not in front of all of their friends, of his _ex and his boyfriend_. But as soon as he was left alone and unsupervised, one or two drink helping a bit, it spilled from his mouth without him noticing.

“Do you even remember me, Yongbok?”

“How could I not, Sung?” Few words, but the correct amount to make him cry his heart out.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” He wanted to shout, maybe he actually was, he wasn’t sure. He never got an answer, their friends coming back in the room.

“Hey, Sung. What’s wrong?” Chan sat next to him, caressing his back, worry painted all over his face. Yongbok moved a bit further away, suddenly way too aware of the situation. Jisung simply shook his head sideways, letting his body fall into his ex’s arms. Once again, he wished Yongbok was the one hugging him through his cries.

He was one text away from all of his answers. Was he ready?

Jisung felt powerless and everything felt too real.

It was just yesterday when he was lying in the grass with Yongbok next to him, two words away from confessing his long-time crush. He could still feel the heat on his cheeks, reliving the moment almost perfectly. Living it again in his head, and putting it together with the current events, one thing felt pretty real… Yongbok seeing him as a friend and nothing else.

Jisung wasn’t the one to take the first step, this time. It was late at night when Yongbok called him, voice trembling that made Jisung’s blood run wild; “Can you come?” Jisung didn’t need to hear more, already out of his bed and putting shoes on. It had been weeks since he had last heard from him, so it was more than unexpected.

Jisung ran to Yongbok’s apartment, not caring about people looking at him weirdly, or his ex-boyfriend calling him probably to know where he went at two in the morning. When he arrived, he had already thought about every possible outcome. He knocked once, twice, thrice, harder each time, until the door opened to reveal his best friend. Jisung barely had time to see him that he already was hugging him, head pressed against his chest. Yongbok never looked smaller than at that moment.

“What happened?” Jisung hugged him tight, caressing his hair the way he knew would soothe him.

They sat at the kitchen table, two cups of tea in front of them. Yongbok had completely calmed down, explaining he had gotten a text from his mom, that she was sick, and he got scared. Scared enough he needed only one person next to him. Jisung couldn’t do much but listen to him, caress his shoulder and hope for the best.

Yongbok was finally feeling a bit better, yet Jisung had to ask that one question that made him break again.

“Hyunjin isn’t home?” Jisung naively asked when they went from the kitchen to the living room, realizing Yongbok was alone. He should’ve told him not to answer when he felt the awkwardness in the air, but his throat tightened enough for him to stay mute.

“Hyunjin…left.” Yongbok could’ve also ended his sentence here, and it would’ve been up to Jisung to understand it the way he wanted, but no. Something forced him to continue. “I told him about you, and that you were my first love and he got jealous and decided to leave me.”

The world stopped for a minute, Jisung couldn’t even tell if Yongbok kept talking after, maybe he was. His mouth was moving, but no words came to Jisung’s ear. He was stuck, his mind on a loop.

“Wait, stop!” maybe he talked louder than he wanted to. “What do you mean I was your first love?” Jisung wanted to cry out of confusion.

“Well, yeah. Thought it was pretty obvious.”

“Obvious where? Dude, you literally ran away to get a brownie when I tried to confess!”

“You wanted to confess?” They were both shouting at that point, events replaying in their heads. “I was the one who wanted to confess!”

“What? No!”

“Don’t you remember? I was the one asking if we could sit under that tree. I knew we were leaving by the end of the week and I wanted to confess!”

“You knew and told me two days before?” Jisung’s head started to spin so hard, he sat on the sofa. “You never told me, you never texted me, you literally disappeared and you’re telling me you wanted to…confess?”

What would even be the craziest thing, learning that your very first love loved you back but chickened out on confessing, or that your first love wanted to confess on the same day you failed at your love confession?

“Why do you even think I promised we’d marry each other?” Yongbok sat next to him, cross-legged and looking at the floor. “I should’ve told you… but I was scared.”

“Do you still love me?” It blurted out of Jisung’s mouth without him realizing it. Sure, the question had lingered in his head since Yongbok told him he was his first love, but he didn’t intend on saying it. “Wait, no. Forget about it.”

“Do you?” He finally looked up from the floor, trying to make eye contact with Jisung.

“I’ve never stopped.”

“Then, can you wait for me?” He took his hands, caressing the back of them with his thumbs. “It won’t be long, I promise. But I’ve just been dumped and I—” His voice cracked a bit as he spoke, a chuckle leaving his throat when he tried to contain his tears.

Jisung leaned forward a bit, brushing his nose against his friend’s; “Promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> find more work on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/softflowermin) :]  
> you can also ask question related to my works on my [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/softflowermin)!


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